Dear readers,

This month we decided to go with something funny, that’s why we would like to present the Top of funniest conversations heard on the ground control communication frequencies. Enjoy!

1.  “Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?”
  “N923, the faster you go, the quicker you’ll get here.”

2. “How far behind traffic are we?”
“Three miles.”
“That doesn’t look like three miles to us!”
“You’re a mile and a half from him, he’s a mile and a half from you…that’s three miles.”

3. “Approach, what’s the tower?”
“That’s a big tall building with glass ass around it, but that’s not important right now.”

4. “TWA 2341, for moise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
“Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up there?” 
“Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

5.  Italian pilot: “What is this thing before us, going so slowly?”
 Tower: “The thing in front of you is a B737, the thing that precedes the thing in front of you is a Fokker 27, ahead of all the things there is an airport that must organize the departures.”
 Italian pilot: “Right, thanks.”

5.From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m bloody bored!” 
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately.”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was bloody bored, not bloody stupid”.

7. ATC: "Cessna G-ARER What are your intentions? "
Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating."
ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years."

8. Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred"
Controller: " Roger, contact Houston Space Center"

9.  ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."
  ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed."
  ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR (Instrument flight rules)."
  N123YZ (Pause) "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated."

10. Control: "You're unreadable, say again."
Motor-glider: "I've turned off the engine, is that better?"
Control: (looong pause)


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